At worst, there’s something else going on that I won’t speculate on. Either way, he doesn’t respect his wife, IMO. But bottom line – if you value and want to stay in this marriage, you NEED counseling NOW. If you don’t want to stay in the marriage, cut your losses as soon as you can. Only YOU can make that decision. Otherwise, he may crash and drag you down with him.
What about combining your finances?
Sure he might balk at the possibility, but he if cant control his spending, limit his spending by giving him just blow money only. Sure it’s going to be hard to get current while assuring he has blow money, but it will get you at least even with the surface of the water over time.
You might have to negotiate on the amount of blow money he gets, but get him thinking about how much money he wastes (eeek invests) in the lottery. You might tell him that it only takes one ticket to win, he might cut out some of the expense by buying fewer tickets…
House rich perhaps? Generally that means one has a house and no furniture or anything else in it… Not sure I’ve heard of house poor as an expression.